I have too many things to write about Sunday, here's a few highlights (or lowlights - as the case may be);

1. I made my debut with the Zambian Staff Band (it's actually called the Zambian Territorial Band but ZSB sounds more impressive). So the first conversation goes something like this....

ZSB B/M: Can you help us out on trombone this Sunday morning?

Me: No problem, what time does the meeting start?

ZSB B/M: At 10 o'clock

Me (thinking we would be playing some pre-meeting music or gathering together for a time of prayer): So what time should I get there for?

ZSB B/M: 10:15 is fine.

Zambian time is legendary.

2. Mr. Kailichi, Headmaster at Chikankata High School, retires in two weeks time. He has served the school for 33 years, 20 years of that has been as Headmaster. That man deserves as medal and should be admitted to the Order of the Founder straight away. 20 years leading a public institution in Zambia, while at the same time keeping up the standards as high as he has done is an achievement beyond words. A service was held on Sunday at the High School in the afternoon to mark his retirment.

Mr. Kailichi is a Chikankata legend

3. For the first time on Sunday, I felt in danger. Three men were brought to the hospital, all of them carrying guns (rifles). It appears they had stolen a vehicle and it had overturned. We knew they were on the way as they had pulled over another driver and ordered him to drive to the hospital. He had phoned ahead to advise. One man was injured badly, the other two started threatening anybody and everybody. Msyelf and Capt. Angela were reasoning with them about bringing guns into the hospital but they were having none of it. We kept things calm and eventually the police came and sorted the problem out. It was not a nice experience.

4. The service on Sunday morning lasted almost 5 hours!!! That will last us in meeting time for the whole of June.

WHERE ARE ALL THE SALVATION ARMY DOCTORS?

On Monday, we had a full staff meeting. I must admit the thought of this filled me with horror- however it turned out to be very positive. I think things are definitely on the up and people seemed to be pleased to be involved in the strategic planning process and get an up-date on where Chikankata Health Services are in terms of HR, Finances and Clinical Care.

As part of the presentation I gave three things struck me about our statistics;

In the last year we have tested 1774 people for HIV/AIDS. A staggering 944 people have tested positive. Now I know there was no real analysis of these figures in terms of why the % is so high but even as a crude statistic it's a bit worrying.

Almost 1 in 10 of the 6,000 patients died whilst in the hoptial last year. More than half of those who died could, with the right medication and treatment been saved quite easily back home. Many died from diseases that back home would only merit a trip to the GP and then medication from the chemist.

Finally, there are apparently more Zambian doctors working in the UK than in Zambia. A recent figure suggested that there is 0.07 doctor for every 10,000 people. At present at Chikankata we have one doctor for 37,000 people. Chikankata Hospital has built it's reputation on ex-pat SA doctor. There hasn't been an SA doctor at Chikankata for nearly 5 years. Where have all the Salvation Army doctors gone. Maybe they are there but just don't want to come to Chikanata. Where are the Dr Campbells, the Dr Gauntletts, the Dr du Plessis', the Dr Calverts, the Dr Pallants, the Dr Carrolls (to name a few) of the modern generation of Salvationists or Officers.

EVERY ARMY HAS A MEDICAL CORPS - Where's ours gone!

SURVIVING or LIVING?

Today we didn't go to church, citing cultural differences for our absence. Heidie and I talked for about two hours, reviewing the year (next week) that we had spent at Chikankata. For both of us, it has been a hard year - one of the hardest ever. I say this not for sympathy but just to highlight the starting point in our conversation. We talked about the difficult situations, the hardships, the missing home and all sorts of things of other related things that I won't bore you or myself with. As we chatted, I think we were both hit by how selfish we had been in our thoughts and conversations over the last few months. Moaning about lack of finances, proper systems, times with no water and electricity and, dare I say it, some people who we didn't feel were pulling their weight. The hardships we face are mirrored, only on a much, much grander scale, by the people we work with, treat, live with and call our friends here in Zambia.

Anyway, I could go on and on about this conversation - we made lots of resolutions, promises etc etc (which we probably won't keep) but overall we decided that we were going to appreciate the challenges, value the opportunities and just have a blooming good laugh together for the next two years. Then we listened to a Jeff Lucas tape from Roots 2004, just picked at random from a friend and it talked about how the Big Man (aka Jesus) loved to party too. Well I know it's not always going to be easy, but I am going to live the next two years not just survive.

THE INTERNATIONAL LANGUAGE OF FOOTBALL??

After being appointed Assistant Team Manager of the Chikankata All Stars (“The Boss” is Mr. Kailichi) I ventured down to the pitch last evening to take part in the daily kick about / training. So as a veteran of the Edinburgh Saturday morning leagues and the Mid Essex League, I must say I thought I had experienced most things. How wrong can one be. So just a few observations about football , Chikankata style…..

1. It is sometime a bit too tempting for me when most of the opposition players are playing barefooted

2. You spend half the game dodging the termite mounds

3. There was a pitch invasion midway through the game by a bunch of stray cows

4. There was a 5 minute delay to the game because the ball went in the bushes and a snake was spotted in the same area and all the boys refused to go and get the ball

5. All the opposition team spent half their time trying to nutmeg or take the Michael Caine out of the only Makowa (white man!)

6. The Zambians are more interested in playing a passing game and no sliding tackles are allowed so that rules out about 90% of my game – “AVE IT!

7. The beautiful sunset in the background is a bit too distracting a costs you the occasional goal when you’re the goalie.

8. It is very difficult to play football and pass accurately to your team mates in the dark in Zambia

9. Finally, on one occasion one of my team mates was berating a fellow striker and pointed to me saying “watch and learn from the old man” (should I take this as a compliment??).

So there you have it – at Chik, I am “the old man” rather than “the big man”. It’s a whole new ball game.

Happy Birthday to me! As well as a Billy Connolly video (from my wife) and some money from my mum and dad to buy myself a birthday meal (? -I've offered to take Heidie to Chipanga for a slap up but she doesn't seem that interested) , I also got a HUGE red nose, a right Harry Redknapper. Man, it's sore. It look like a boil of gigantic proportions. Anyway, I saw Dr. Misago this morning in passing and after he had stopped laughing, he told me to take Panadol. Now Panadol is the painkiller that they give to the women who give birth at the Hospital. So my nose has been clinically diagnosed as being as sore as the pain women endure in labour - which by all accounts is sore. The culture here for women in labour is to be as quiet as possible and rarely is pain relief given. It seems the more noise you make, the less respected you are. No comments please!

This afternoon I have had a very positive meeting with the General Workers Union. I have tried to meet with them on a monthly basis to iron out issues as we go along. I have also opened another two week workshop at the Seminar Centre, sponsored by UNICEF - the topic being Prevention of Mother to Child Transmission (PMtCT) of HIV/AIDS. The Seminar Centre is really the big hope for the financial security of Chikankata. I have already had the training room extended - I was the foreman for this project - and in August we will be making all 30 accomodation rooms self contained. We will continue to run courses but will also try to hire out the facilities for conference when we are not using it. The ZIM Team are coming late July and I am pinning my hopes on them to help us out. Hopefully this will make us a bit more financially stable.

One of the things I love about Chikankata is its rich heritage. The many people who have lived and worked in Chikankata continually contact us to let us know they are praying for us. If you are reading this - thank you so much. We really appreciate, and are truly humbled, by your support. Today I have received an e-mail from the Slators at Worthing. Other people I have been in contact with recently are Dorothy Nesbit, the Gauntletts, the Calverts, the Charltons, the Cowdreys, the Belchers, the Blurtons, the Pallants, the Carrolls to name a few. You may be interested to know that at present my Tonga name is Mutinta Makowa (excuse the spelling) which means the only white man. When you look at the picturs from the 50's - late 90's it's inconceivable that for the first three months of this year, Heidie and I were the only white people on the Mission. Thankfully, it seems things are changing with Rachel back from the UK, Annette arrived from Southampton and Peter and Emma arriving from Australia. Hopefully there will be two more couples here by the end of year. We are planning a Chikankata celebration (60 years since the official opening of the Hospital) next year, likely to be at the end of May - so watch this space for details.

PIFF PAFF POOF!

So today I have found another organised "display" on my doorstep. Witchcraft is well and truly alive around Chikankata and it seems some budding Harry Potter is thinking that I might benefit (or otherwise) from some supernatural help. The last time it was an egg shell display, this time it was some pictures, flowers and an old disposable razor all laying on my front door step in a very ordered way. It seems if you are the manager of an organisation round here and someone is discontent with you, rather than come and talk about it in the office they prefer some sort of Tommy Cooper routine. My friend and fellow manager Capt Angela assures me it only works if you are involved in at and believe in it, which of course I do not. Anyway it was interesting experience - this never used to happen in Essex!

BROWN SAUCE FOR A FIVER!

Today has been an all together better day. Excuse my whinge of yesterday. Duncan "Deacon" P from UK THQ has given me some good news and a proposal for a research grant has been accepted. From the start of July, Chikankata HIV/AIDS Clinic will be studying adherence to treatment issues for our patients when taking their Anti-Retroviral Drugs. It's in conjunction with Michigan State University, who have done previous research on epilepsy here at Chik. I think building partnerships with some of these European / American Universities is one way that Chikankata can become self sufficient. In the last 6 months we have signed agreements with Boston University and now Michigan State. It professionally challenging and interesting for us and also gives us a bit of cash.

At present we have over 770 patients on ARV's. HIV/AIDS is very much in focus but alcohol is becoming a real problem here, especially with the young people. Sad really, but this is a hidden ill of this community and today I resolved to try and investigate how best to tackle it.

Tickets booked for coming home for Christmas - I'll be able to take my rightful place as Principal Trombone and Acting Deputy Bandmaster for the Poplar Tabernacle Band, whilst at the same time whipping Garry's ass at wrong note chicken. Although Garry did beat me at water key chicken - I'm still laughing at that now, man - the bubbling all the way through "Have yourself a merry Christmas". Anyway, I digress - I am really looking forward to coming home and seeing everyone and eating a sausage supper and can of Irn Bru. They're not available in Zambia, although you can now buy a bottle of brown sauce in Lusaka for a fiver.

MY HAIR IS GOING GREY!

This is a lonely, crappy job sometimes (sorry mum for saying crappy - oops I've said it again).

Know this about Chikankata. We have 200 bed hospital, 4 day clinics in the hospital, 2 mobile clinics each day, a Health Centre, a dentist, an x-ray dept, a Nurses Training School, 6 rural health centres to name just a few things.

Know this about Chikankata - this month we have received K2m (less than 400 pounds / 700 dollars) from the government to run the hospital. One hundred pounds a week to run one of the biggest hospital in rural Zambia. (I know it's not really the governments fault, they got little money too)

How do you do it? You tell me cos I'm stuggling to figure it out. It's tough man!

The THQ Zambia gives us a small grant and does the best they can but it is small - (it covers the officers salaries here). It's an impossible task. Every month I have such a struggle to find money for drugs, salaries etc etc and I have weekly communications with ZESCO (electricity company) to avoid getting cut off.

So if you've got a spare 20,000 pounds floating get in touch at
www. we've got hee haw money.chikankata.com (not a real website just incase you have got 20,000 pounds)

WOE IS ME!

The thing you need to know about Chikankata is this.....

You get to meet some really smashing people. Tonight we had a meal with Rhidian, Nicola, Gabriel and Agnes who are on a kind of world tour of centres involved in The Salvation Army's response to HIV/AIDS. They have done some broadcasts for the BBC and Rhidian intends to write a book. They were accompanied by Captain Shelley form Niarobi.

Anyway check out this blog : www.brook-sulman.blogspot.com

The wee fella says the things that we could never get away with. Well worth a look!

I think I might be suffering from post parents-visit depression. Both Heidie and my parents have visited in April / May along with my little sis Clare, over lapping by a couple of days. We had a great time with them both, although I was a bit narked that whilst planning days off at Chik, this proved impossible.
However when we left the Mission, it was great. We visited South Luangwa with Heidie's mum and dad to do a fantastic safari. I was literally within touching distance of the lions, man! My Asda (George) safari hat did me well and my new binoculars came in handy. With my mum and dad we nipped over the border to Botswana for the day, visiting Chobe National Park - no lions but so many elephants! One a side about this trip was that thinking I might get a bit snottery due to the early morning wake up (it's a man thing) I picked up a what I thought was a nice white hankerchief, only to discover that this was not the case. I wondered how many others guys were riding on safari with a pair of their wife's knickers in their pocket.

Both parents went to Livingstone, and we did the helicopter ride. Fantastic. Zambia is truly a two tier country. South Luangwa and Livingstone town could not be further away from Chikankata in many many senses. A visit to us let's you see both sides and the parents seemed to leave satisfied, having had a great time. We'll miss them terribly though!