POVERTY, LOSS AND GRIEF = COMMUNITY

I am in reflective, thoughtful mood, something I have not done for a number of weeks due to general busyness.

My office is situated in a real paradoxical place. It has two windows. Through one window you regularly hear the first cries of a newborn baby and the joys of the family. Through the other window you view the body of those who have just passed away been wheeled down to the mortuary, followed by a procession of grieving and wailing women.

As we near the end of a three year contract (it seems we are coming back for another year) I have been reflecting on some of the moments that have shaped our stay here and many of them revolve around the loss of friends and their relatives;

1) I will never ever forget one of our midwives who lives just behind me, walking to the hospital, screaming. She was followed by her garden boy who was struggling to carry her only daughter. She was lifeless, flopping aound as she had just passed away. She supposedly died of chicken pox.
2) Attending the Chief’s funeral. The “old man” was very supportive to us when he arrived. Heidie and I were given special seats at the funeral / burial, as the only white people in a crowd that must have numbered thousands. Shots being fired into the air, goats being killed and the burial of the Chief in a seated position facing East. It was a remarkable occasion in many ways and a real celebration of life.
3) The death of Colonel Bo Brekke and one of our nearby friends, a commercial farmer, made me realize how vulnerable people our in the developing world to attack from disgruntled staff and how the justice system lets everyone down.
4) Speaking at Nathan’s funeral. A man who had mental health problems but the community came together to ensure they managed him the best they could with the resources they had. At his funeral there were over 700 people and I was so proud to belong to and represent the Chikankata community that day. The family fed every single person that attend Nathan's funeral, even though they were living in extreme poverty.
5) Sitting in outside many funeral houses with the men, particularly in the first year here. I learnt alot about the ministry of just sitting around. When someone dies friends and family go to the funeral house and just take time to support the person by sitting and singing. For me this has been a revelation and shows the difference between a rich and poor culture. In these precious moments I was able simply to enter into the reality of people by releasing myself from the compulsion to do or to fix things in order to take time just to be. These have been very special and profound moments.
6) This week I dropped Liz off at a funeral house. I asked Liz if the person who had died was old. She said “Yes but not really”. I knew what she meant. When we arrived here, I attended a meeting for the newly arrived nursing students. The Major who was addressing this group, most of whom would have been aged between 18-22 started a sentence with the assertion that “during the next 20 years or so of their time on this earth…”. Old by Zambian standards is young by Western standards.

I could mention numerous other occasions and incidents such as these. I guess what I am trying to say is that when you truly give yourself emotionally to a community marked by poverty and ridden with disease you will have to constantly deal with loss and grief in one form or another. However I wholeheartedly concur with Scott Bessenecker who wrote recently that many of those who are victims of poverty share a hope that they have gone to a place “where they will no longer be searching for love and justice, but where they will find all those things in all their fullness.” The times of grief and loss have illustrated for me that most people in Chikankata have reached beyond a “my” mentality and have discovered an “our” philosophy that embraces hardship, celebration, possessions and living space.

Sharing in poverty, suffering and friendship has been my privilege and has deeply enriched my life and my faith and has given me a new perspective on Christian community.

I fear no foe, with thee at hand to bless;
Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness
Where is death’s sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still if thou abide with me.