THE INTERNATIONAL LANGUAGE OF FOOTBALL??

After being appointed Assistant Team Manager of the Chikankata All Stars (“The Boss” is Mr. Kailichi) I ventured down to the pitch last evening to take part in the daily kick about / training. So as a veteran of the Edinburgh Saturday morning leagues and the Mid Essex League, I must say I thought I had experienced most things. How wrong can one be. So just a few observations about football , Chikankata style…..

1. It is sometime a bit too tempting for me when most of the opposition players are playing barefooted

2. You spend half the game dodging the termite mounds

3. There was a pitch invasion midway through the game by a bunch of stray cows

4. There was a 5 minute delay to the game because the ball went in the bushes and a snake was spotted in the same area and all the boys refused to go and get the ball

5. All the opposition team spent half their time trying to nutmeg or take the Michael Caine out of the only Makowa (white man!)

6. The Zambians are more interested in playing a passing game and no sliding tackles are allowed so that rules out about 90% of my game – “AVE IT!

7. The beautiful sunset in the background is a bit too distracting a costs you the occasional goal when you’re the goalie.

8. It is very difficult to play football and pass accurately to your team mates in the dark in Zambia

9. Finally, on one occasion one of my team mates was berating a fellow striker and pointed to me saying “watch and learn from the old man” (should I take this as a compliment??).

So there you have it – at Chik, I am “the old man” rather than “the big man”. It’s a whole new ball game.